When I wrote a review of Elizabeth Gilbert's new book, Committed, last week, I failed to mention one of my favorite parts of the book. She wholeheartedly challenges the American government's continued discrimination against same-sex couples in immigration situations. I've written extensively about my confusion around marriage here in the U.S.--namely, that I chose not to get married, in part, because I wanted to stand in solidarity with my friends who didn't have the same privilege. But then things started to change state by state, and suddenly some of those same friends were actually getting married themselves. It all started to seem a little ambiguous.

There was nothing ambiguous, however, about the situation that a dear friend of mine recently faced when she and her non-American partner had to figure out how the hell to be together despite a federal government that refuses to recognize their love and commitment. After many costly and painful twists and turns, they're now relying on an education visa. Incidentally, many international couples (heterosexual included) must rely on these visas in order to be together, as they can be far less costly than hiring a lawyer and going through marriage proceedings.

In any case, I wanted to shine a spotlight on this continued injustice. I think it's easy to slide into a bit of complacency because we see the inevitable march of gay marriage rights through the U.S. (despite lots of setbacks), but it's important to stay vigilant and remember that not everyone can just jaunt off to Massachusetts. Both international and economic factors still influence whether people who love one another can actually be together.

Circling back to Gilbert, read this interesting interview with her over at Jezebel. She received an award at an Immigration Equality gala this week.

2 Comments

June 10, 2010 4:36 PM

[0+]  haiku2 said:

Thanks for bringing this up ... it often overlooked in the discussion of same-sex marriage. I ended up immigrating to my partner's country (that allows same-sex marriage) to resolve our visa issues. Many binational couples don't have this privilege.

There is some legislation in the US called "Uniting Families Act" that will allow Americans to sponsor their same-sex partner for immigration purposes.

For more info:
- http://immigrationequality.org/index.php
- http://www.hrc.org/issues/int_rights_immigration.asp

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June 11, 2010 3:23 PM

[0+]  Duck Rover said:

I am here on an education visa and am with a partner who is a US citizen. By the time I finish my PhD, my partner and I will have been together for 6 years.

If I can't get a job out here afterwards that will sponsor a temporary work visa, I will have to return home and either begin a long distance relationship indefinitely, or break up with my partner altogether.

Immigration rights for binational couples are woefully ignored when we talk about same-sex marriage. My partner and I don't even need to marry - we just don't want to live 3,000 miles apart when we've shared a home, financial commitments, social circles and a life together for years.

Thanks for bringing this up. I wish this issue was discussed a lot more. I am dreading the day my current visa expires.

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